Why having Keratoconus does not bother me

So I suppose I should explain what it is first and foremost. Keratoconus is an eye condition I suffer from, it is not too uncommon, 1 in 450 have it but rarely does it affect you that much, however in my case it is why I can’t drive. Technically I am allowed to but I don’t feel my vision is safe enough to do so. So what exactly is it

Keratoconus is a non-inflammatory eye condition in which the normally round dome-shaped clear window of the eye (cornea) progressively thins causing a cone-like bulge to develop. This eventually impairs the ability of the eye to focus properly, potentially causing poor vision.

I have had this my entire life but only found out about 15 years ago after having some driving lessons. As I have had it my entire life I was never aware I had it, they don’t check for it at hospitals when you are born nor should they as it is more of an inconvenience then anything

But really that’s the point I want to make, I don’t mind talking about it as it does not define me in any shape or form. It is not a big problem because I don’t make it one.

No one is perfect and we all have things which can define us and hold us back but is it the condition you have or your approach to dealing with it that holds you back. I could feel sorry for myself about it but it does not define me anymore at least, but when it I first learned about it did. Keratoconus itself is not considered a disability, but the visual loss caused by the disease may be severe enough to qualify as a disability which I don’t consider I have

When I found out I had it I was told my right eye was not a problem but was very likely that in the future I would be considered disabled if it regressed at the rate it was. It has got worse over the years but I have never and will never consider it a disability even though I feel it would be unsafe me for me learn to drive, but I did try and learn to drive before I knew. In fact it was having driving lessons that made me get my eyes checked in the first place,

I had about 7 driving lessons and then had an eye test as I felt like I was really struggling and this is when I found out I had Keratoconus. Once I found out I felt very self-conscious about it, I just didn’t feel like a 22 year old should have eye problems, it’s stupid looking back at it but it made me feel like a failure at times when it would affect me in some way like playing football and miscontrolling the ball because I could not judge the distance I was away from it or if I fancied a girl and they didn’t fancy me back I would feel very self-conscious was it me or because I wore glasses. I have rarely spoke about it because now I kind of feel embarrassed that I thought like that in the first place.

The only thing which can define you is your attitude to life, now I like to think I accept it for what it is, many other people have far worse conditions then me and now I am kind of proud of the fact I have it yet really don’t let it hold me back like it once used to.